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Director Benny
---- Director Benny Hill is one of the five mythological "Bureaucrats of the Universal Bureau of Fictitious Literature", according to Explorer. He loves the COC "more than his own mother", so he claims. He is classified as a "conspiracy theory" and can be found in Professor Shroomsky's favorite book, "Conspiracy Theories for Conspiring Creatures", theory #9. Background Director Benny was born to Director Jenny and Director Lenny. He was their first child, and was very good at directing. This caused him to have a rivalry with his younger brother, Director Kenny. They always fought with each other, and refused to get along to their parent's dismay. Benny gloated to Kenny that he was better, which made his father somewhat proud that he was taking credit and showing who's boss, but his mother was disappointed that Benny would be cruel to his brother. Eventually, the brothers left to go to film school. During his youth, Mabel claims that he invited her (being his cousin) to work on his latest project -- world domination. The plan was brilliant, foolproof (almost), and being a Von Injoface, Mabel couldn't resist. They continued to work on the plan to take over the world all through their childhood, but didn't really get to the big parts until Benny left home. At first it went well. Then, when Benny was finishing film school, Mabel began to think that Benny wanted all the world power from himself. She began deliberately messing up to delay the plan and come up with her own plan to overthrow Benny, which made Benny think she wanted all the power for herself (although, she did). Eventually they began arguing over trivial details, and Mabel quit. The plan fell apart, and Mabel claims she learned this lesson: "World conquest is pointless. Why take over the world when you know someone's going to overthrow you? All it takes is being a nuisance to society." She says this is the reason why she's so annoying. After that incident, Benny decided to finish film school and became a director. He came home with Kenny, and found out that their parents have adopted a child. He really liked her, and fought with Kenny for her affection. However, Kenny showed that he was closer to her, and this made Benny sad. As time went by, he started to like being a part of his family less and less, even more so after his interactions with Mabel, and went away, although he keeps in touch with his mother and some other members he finds worthy. He went on with his life, and got a job application from Billybob, along with Kenny. Little did Benny know, he was going to be a master of the universe. Benny got the job, to Kenny's chagrin. Kenny hated Benny more than ever now, and tried to prank him one year later, but it backfired. He was noticed by Lord Carrion and Murphy and was accepted into the Bureau of Entropy. Benny didn't feel too threatened and went back to approving and disapproving things. Involvement Taken from Conspiracy Theories for Conspiring Creatures: ---- Your Freedom of Speech is Not So Free! Conspiracy Theory #9: Is our Grammar controlled by a Relative of Mabel?! Explorer says Yes! There exists a legend of "Master Director Benny Hill", a mythical puffle who is said to control grammar. You make one mistake and he will swoop in and rewrite your speech as you say it. You won't even know. You'd say it naturally, completely unaware that someone evil stepped on your freedom of speech. It is said this puffle can hop through dimensions, whether it be Tails's Shake Dimension (see Theory #27, Vibration Nation), "The Rest of Earth" (Theory #16, We're Not the Dominant Species), or in space (see theory #13, Turkeys on an Asteroid). He carries around a laptop, and one press of a key can rewrite your own words subconciously. Is this true? Could it be true? ....well, there IS a puffle director at the CP stage, and it DID jump on stage during Dystopian: the Musical!... and it HAS been seen watching each and every play ever being performed......... Decide for yourself, fellow reader. ---- Personality The Director is a hard-nosed, cynical, merciless puffle who first and foremost abuses his abilities to benefit himself and his family. A strict, rigid tyrant who very nearly worships the COC, he never hesitates to speak what is on his mind. Benny must be in control of the situation at all times. He carries his laptop with him wherever he goes. Benny never takes a vacation. Benny can and does pop up out of nowhere, literally, to shout at violators of the COC, if the offense is bad enough. Notably, he appeared before the Troublesome Trio when they were betting on the Go Fish game. Benny also appeared before Mayor McFlapp at "Dystopian: the Musical". He blatantly attacks those who disobey the COC but never praises those who obey it. Fourth Wall breakers joke that "if Benny isn't here, you're following the rules". In the office, Benny often wonders around with his laptop, staring at or following the other workers. This unnerves them about as much as Weegee. The BOF joke is that "Big Benny is always watching". Poor Keith took this literally. Add Explorer's scary stories about what Benny does to employees, and Keith took a wild interpretation. Keith believes that Benny is literally always watching. He dresses in a coat and tie to "appease" the "monster", which Keith always refers to as "it", and never "he". Keith thinks that, if they displease him enough, that Benny eats other employees. Keith can not be in the same room as Benny because he fears that he will be eaten, or he would witness someone getting eaten. Benny's presence causes Keith to tremble; he has developed a sixth sense of sorts to detect his presence. On the job .]] Benny's job as Master of the Universe is simple. He is to approve all things that are okay in regards to site doctrine, and to reject all things against it. Things approved come to being, things rejected are subject to rewrite or deletion. At least, that is how Benny is supposed to do it. In reality, Benny is highly corrupt. He has rejected things that are perfectly okay but may harm him or an Injoface, and has approved things that, though COC-okay, are morally distasteful. He secretly enjoys chaos and making things go wrong, but he manages to suppress that urge enough to be on the side of Good. Benny's laptop Benny has a specially outfitted Peach laptop. Aside from the normal OS interface and programs, two buttons are plugged in to the laptop through USB cords. These buttons are always mysteriously changing their appearance (they've even been seen as actual drinking mugs that hold cranberry juice and limeade), though they almost always resemble police sirens. One button is red, the other is green. Pressing the red button rejects the selected edit, pressing the green button approves it. Trivia * Mayor McFlapp on Benny: "The COC's the limit"? The COC's the flippin' limit??? I'll tell you who's the bally limit here, wot! That ludicrous, annoying Director puffle nuisance, that's bally who!!!! Constantly prodding me about my grammar, my spelling, and who-knows-whether-I-jolly-care-about-it, eh! He and Mabel must be somehow bally related... perhaps they're distant cousins, eh?" "Directors are all strict, no fun. They make sure stories don't go out of order and correct grammar, spelling, and continuity mistakes. They have a bally laptop, a small one, not like my organ, here. All of them have been a nusiance, and Director Benny here is no exception! He's even prodded me in a bally play, wot?" ---- * Director Benny is related to Mab -- no, I'm not! How dare you say such a th -- He denies it, though. * Director Benny knows nothing of The Cow Dimension. * Director Benny's favorite color is orange. He also hates blue and, therefore, hates PogoPunk X. * Director Benny has the ability to FLOAT in midair using telekinesis. No, really, it's true! He often uses this technique to stun miscreants when disciplining them, and also uses it when battling villains or Mayor McFlapp. * Director Benny has a habit of "mysteriously rising to power" in random articles and interfering with their events. Mayor McFlapp seeks to know how to do this and is currently trying to take lessons from Benny. * For some odd reason, whenever Mayor McFlapp and Director Benny are chasing/battling/arguing with each other, this music plays. DJ X claims he has nothing to do with the music and says it is a glitch in his music cue-syncing software. * Alex12345a, though, commented that "this bird is a freak", despite knowing the fact that this is Mabel's cousin. He goes even further by claiming that "he does NOT control MAI". Director Benny has no comment so far. * It's been said that the surname, "de Blah", was actually a legal name change in a court so that Benny wouldn't have to bear the "von Injoface" surname of the Mabel family. * Director Benny is the designated guardian of the COC. * He has a brother, Director Kenny, who is one of the Anti-Masters. No wonder Benny hates blue. * Benny does not know of the Cow Dimension, but he is aware of (and directs) the Shake Dimension. He is also overly knowledgeable of the Ghost Dimension, but can not control it. *He really dislikes the Wannabe Masters Of The Universe, and was disappointed that his sister is one of them. Benny doesn't know that they exist anymore and tries to steal the Wannabes' spotlight by pressing as many random buttons as possible while dueling with Mayor McFlapp. McFlapp is attempting to do the same "for the fun it, wot!" *Despite that the Bureau of Nonsense virtually created him, Benny adores Director Spenny, since he drives Kenny insane. Image Gallery File:Mabel_soulmate.png|The text was whited out and replaced with what you currently see., but Benny really screams like that. File:Benny_paddle.PNG|Director Benny even appeared at the 2009 CP Fall Fair. He was hovering in the Puffle Paddle arena, screaming about his disapproval of this so-called "physical abuse" and "mistreatment" of puffles. Oh, and he was also yelling about this. File:McFlapp_Benny.PNG|McFlapp and Benny leering at each other, displaying their fierce hatred of each other. Click to enlarge. File:Benny_quote.PNG|Benny affirming his sole goal. Click to enlarge. See also * Mabel * Mayor McFlapp * Narrator's Organ * [[Author Billybob|Author Billybo-- wait, WHAT?!?]] * COC (item) Category:Puffles Category:Conspiracy Theories Category:Masters of the Universe Category:Stuff that breaks the 4th wall Category:villains Category:Puffles